Lost In My Mess

We boarded together, am still sailing

You’re not.

This dashboard full of memories, everything still there

You’re not.

Wish I had recorded your voice,

Talking to your hanky, full of embroidery, would have been easier.

Wish I had looked at you longer when you departed,

Drawing you now would have been easier.

Even now I see us singing in my living room,

Just more of solos, duets are few.

It’s cold outside, inside too,

Silly me, like an idiot am still waiting for you.

This guitar, I’m playing,

You always wanted to hear.

Playing your favourite songs now,

But hell you’re not there.

Nothing has changed,

Just the smoke replaced my loneliness.

Even this cigarette has been a bitch, playing hide and seek,

Vindicating the deed of my past, I’m lost in my mess.