दिल ढूँढ़ता है फर वही

"तेरे बिना जिंदगी से कोई शिकवा तो नहीं,

तेरे बिना जिंदगी भी लेकिन जिंदगी तो नहीं "

This is not just some post break up ranting. There are few lines, by Gulzar Sahab, to which i can totally relate myself.

So i have started with the above two lines.

We get used to things, the sadness, the loneliness and the fact that a person would certainly never come back into your life again. We don't complain after a certain point of time.

But at times the places, those songs and few stuff can actually fuck your otherwise get-used-to-the-sad-life. And you go back to the same old state.

"दो नैनो मैं 

आसूं भरे हैं 

निंदिया कैसे समाए"

So how does sleep slip in when your eyes are wet. Walking down the memory lane when you see all those sweet things like the first bill of the restro where you hogged food or the coffee dates. Nostalgia hits you right between your pants. Things go blank. Life seems hopeless. But you get used to it.

"जाने कैसे बीतेंगी ये बरसातें
मांगे हुए दिन, मांगे हुए रातें "

When those rainy nights, when you used share texts like "Hey its raining, it reminds me of you", are gone then the only thing left is the water pouring down and causing nuisance throughout the city, blocking vehicles and fucking metro service.

This is how the rainy days can matter to you.

So no more text sharing and no more stretching your hands out of your balcony to feel the rain happens.

Its just plain rain that happens.

"अपनी तनहाई का औरों से ना शिकवा करना

तुम अकेले ही नहीं हों , सभी अकेले हैं "

So yea i might not be the only one who is lonely,

who has stopped being funny, 

who has stopped reacting to little amusing things in life, 

who passes his time by packing and unpacking clothes in the suitcase,

who has banned few songs, 

who has stopped going to few places, stopped meeting people, hardly looks to the mirror anymore,

who has stopped thinking to grow up old with someone, 

who has found a new friend called cigarette and who has finally got used to such life.

There are many others.

So this little post is dedicated to all those other miserable people like me.

Enjoy!